Kenan Kajan, Zalik, Bosnia & Herzegovina
Parents and their Children
Author: Kenan Kajan
Not too long ago, the role and concept of parenthood felt distant and unfamiliar to me. I often contemplated the true meaning of being a parent, primarily focusing on the biological aspects. Little did I realize that there was a vast realm beyond it—a world of techniques, approaches, and the essence of responsible parenting. Responsible parenting encompasses not only the physical aspects but also moral principles, ethics, respect for elders, and offering assistance to those in need and distress. These fundamental values should undeniably be interwoven into the very fabric of our parenting journey as we strive to become better parents.
In my immediate surroundings, it became clear that the role of a “responsible parent” is something that cannot be fully anticipated or prepared for. This realization prompted me to delve into this element of parents being aware that children absorb everything that is said around them. I firmly believe that responsible parenting begins in the early stages of a child’s life. Even at the tender age of two, I witnessed one of the first remarkable forms of learning in my daughter—learning through imitation. Following a rapid phase of language development, she began mimicking the behaviours of the adults in our household. Almost every day, we would hear our daughter echoing specific phrases she had absorbed from her surroundings. With time, she began mimicking various behaviours, gradually internalizing them as the norm.
The situation she experienced was a direct consequence of the topic at hand. During a walk, a close relative said to her, “Stop whining, you’re a fool.” It was clear that the boy had heard these words in his own environment and repeated them. In a short period of time, there were other instances of this happening. One notable example was when another boy stated, “We won’t come to your place any more.”It is crucial to approach everything children say with caution. It is likely that he shared what he heard in his own home with his neighbors, inadvertently shedding light on interpersonal dynamics. Children often speak more openly than adults and unintentionally reveal secrets. Although it may have been a passing thought, it certainly provoked deep reflection in the older person involved in that interaction.
I firmly hold the belief that parents understand the extent to which children absorb everything they hear in their surroundings, yet they may not fully grasp the swiftness and magnitude with which children reflect and project these influences onto others. Just as I became aware of this phenomenon early on with my own daughter, I am certain that other parents also appreciate its significance. As children progress through different developmental stages, it becomes apparent that they effortlessly absorb and emulate our behaviours.
In the earlier examples I mentioned, we observed the negative consequences that arise from a child being exposed to certain influences. The chosen title of the story encompasses a crucial phase in life that can lead to both positive and negative outcomes.
One positive aspect of children absorbing its environment is their ability to internalize positive behaviours such as kindness, respectful communication, and helping others. However, while parents may recognize the concept of “absorption,” society as a whole often overlooks its profound impact. Parents frequently overlook the potential repercussions for children who are exposed to negative parental behaviours. As a result, children unknowingly internalize and perpetuate these negative patterns in their interactions with their peers, perpetuating a harmful cycle.
It is crucial that we actively work towards raising awareness and providing assistance to the young parents of today, who often lead busy lives. By doing so, we can promote modern parenting practices and enable parents to fulfil their roles more effectively.
These are my personal reflections on the matter, but I am certain that there are numerous diverse perspectives and examples that can contribute to a deeper and more meaningful comprehension of this subject.